Tuesday, September 9, 2008

TV Commercial... Anymore??

Not that long ago a TV commercial went like this: the product was presented', for example coffee, and so the TV screen filled with the product. The voice said something like: "buy this coffee" and if that wasn't clear enough, big letters appeared saying "buy this coffee". So that there was absolutely no mistake what this commercial was about.

These days I spend quite a lot of time trying to work out what the commercial is actually selling me. Probably something I don't want or need anyway, but that doesn't matter. Millions were spent on the silliest commercials. The vaguer the message, the more un-usable the product, it seems. The dancing, the singing, the stars hired to convince us that they are absolutely delighted to use this stuff have not convinced me at all to buy the product or use the service. On the contrary, I will never buy such a product. I see right through all the smiles and I doubt that "the stars" use this product themselves.

If there was a category for "Scariest Commercial Ever" it would be the Revlon one. The lovely and very beautiful Selma Hayek has a cats-tail stuck on her eye-lids! When I first saw this commercial I nearly fainted from fright. This commercial was about a new mascara, and you get, as by miracle, eyelashes of such a size that they nearly drag over the floor! On Selma they looked like fur, her eyes almost hidden behind this bush.

Other totally ridiculous commercials involve lip gloss that never comes off. The models kiss these gorgeous guys without discrimination, and right as rain, the guys are not covered in goo. But I think that after a bit of serious canoodling a guy will look as if he has traipsed through a field of over-ripe tomatoes. And if he does it with someone like Selma, I'm truly dreading to think what he will look like. Now, it seems there is a new anti-wrinkle cream made from snails. They re-assured us in the earlier commercials that it was not the actual snail they are using; the snails are fine. But where are all these home-less snails then? Where do they snuggle up at night? After 30 minutes of jubilant ladies extolling the product I still didn't know if that would take care of my crows-feet. I detected some hesitancy about (finally) announcing the price as well.

Food-commercials must be the worst. How much can you really eat? And I cannot work out, most of the time, whether it is about meat, chicken or something else. Can't they just show a cow and say: "Buy meat, price $). Now that would make my life a lot easier, and the commercial shorter. It would also be a lot cheaper to make, no stars being in attendance.

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